What Happens During an Elopement Ceremony? (With Script Examples)
If you’ve ever been to a traditional wedding, you probably have a pretty clear idea of what to expect from the ceremony. Guests gather in the ceremony space shortly before it begins, music plays on speakers set up by the DJ, and people mingle and catch up with one another before the music starts to fade out. Everyone quiets down, a new song starts, and the bridal party comes down the aisle.
Wedding ceremonies generally last anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes (sometimes longer, especially for cultural ceremonies), and they end with a pronunciation of marriage and a first kiss. The couple celebrates, looks out over their guests with joy, and struts back up the aisle as everyone cheers and claps for them. The bridal party exits, sometimes doing something fun as they walk back up the aisle, and the officiant typically announces that family will be staying back for photos while the rest of the guests are released for cocktail hour.
While there’s no specific formula for a wedding, most people tend to follow a traditional template. You’re probably here because that template doesn’t sound ideal for your own wedding ceremony, and you’d like to know how yours can be your own. There are many elements from a traditional wedding that can be incorporated into an elopement or adventure wedding, but the ceremony is one of the things I find to be pretty different.
If you’ve been thinking of eloping and asking yourself, “What happens during an elopement ceremony?,” here’s a breakdown!
While the location and feeling of an elopement ceremony is often different from a typical wedding, the four pieces that typically occur are vows, religious or cultural rituals, the pronouncement, and the first kiss.
1. Vows
Whether an officiant is present to guide you through scripted vows or you write your own, making promises to one another in some way is pretty much always a part of an elopement ceremony. This is a time for the two of you to express your love for each other completely unfiltered, sharing stories and memories and making a commitment to your future together. Vows are my favorite part of any elopement ceremony—the significance of that moment is second to none.
You can write your own vows, use vows you find online (see my Elopement Ceremony Script Examples below for some ideas), or have a trusted officiant or friend write some for you. The most important thing is that they reflect your relationship honestly and show your own unique personalities.
Now if you’re anything like me, bearing your heart in front of people you know may sound like the scariest experience ever. My husband and I had a small but semi-traditional wedding, and as more of an introvert, I was not comfortable being emotional in front of 80 of our family and friends. So I wrote him a letter to read before our ceremony, and we read more simple, scripted vows in front of our guests.
If you have guests present for your ceremony, you can do something like that to keep the deepest parts of your heart reserved for only your partner. You can write each other letters to read silently during your ceremony, walk a little further away from your guests during your private vows and come back closer for the rest of the ceremony, have a private vow reading some other time during the day, or embrace the moment and say everything you want to say to each other in front of your favorite people.
I can also give the two of you as much privacy as you need for your ceremony by using a longer zoom lens, so don’t worry about me intruding on your vows if that’s something you want to keep completely private!
Check out my blog on How to Write Your Elopement Vows: Step By Step Guide for more inspiration on writing your elopement vows, as well as where to find custom vow books online.
2. Religious or Cultural Rituals
All over the world, couples have been participating in wedding ceremony activities that represent their heritage, faith, and beliefs in all sorts of ways. Whether it’s a local tradition, cultural practice, or religious symbol, including these in your elopement ceremony is a great way to show reverence and articulate how much you value one another through symbolic acts.
Many couples choose to incorporate a religious or cultural practice of some sort to give thanks, and bring even more meaningfulness to the importance of their commitment. Almost all couples participate in a ring exchange, but there’s really no limits to what you can do. This can include things such as:
Prayer
Communion
Singing
Handfasting (check out this ceremony script for a handfasting ritual)
Feet washing
Tea ceremony
Lighting candles
Burning sage or palo santo
Exchange of leis or garlands
Breaking of the glass
Exchanging of gifts
Ring exchange
Blessing of certain objects by the officiant
3. Pronouncement
After the vows have been made and the religious and cultural practices have finished, the officiant will pronounce you married under their authority with the state.
This is a good time to note that every state has different laws for what makes a wedding ceremony legal, and you’ll want to research what’s required before deciding how you want your ceremony to be structured. (You don’t have to have the legal ceremony on your elopement day if there are logistical challenges such as wanting complete privacy away from an officiant and witnesses, or traveling to a location that isn’t easy to get to—more on that in the FAQs below!)
4. First Kiss
Once you’re pronounced married, indulge in that first kiss! This is the most exciting part of elopement ceremonies, and it’s so much fun to see how couples all do it differently. Some go for a dip, some keep it quick and sweet, and some enjoy a romantic moment to show all the love they have for one another. I always like to remind my couples to be fully present with each other for this once-in-a-lifetime moment.
Elopement Ceremony FAQs
Do we have to get legally married at our elopement ceremony?
You do not! This often surprises people, but the legal part of your elopement day does not actually have to happen during your ceremony itself. If you’re envisioning a hike to a remote location or you simply want as much privacy as possible, bringing along an officiant and witnesses may not sound ideal to you.
What I suggest instead is to take care of the legalities at the courthouse either before or after your elopement day, and make the day-of ceremony more symbolic. You can still do everything you want during your ceremony like exchange rings, share vows, and have a first kiss, and it will be just as meaningful and special as if you had an officiant present.
Another way to approach this is to have a private ceremony with just the two of you, and have the legal ceremony later on your elopement day (or the day after) with the number of witnesses necessary in that state. This way, you can leave your elopement experience married and avoid the formality of the courthouse marriage, and still enjoy the intimacy of a private ceremony.
As an added note, I’m always ready and willing to be one of your witnesses! It’s incredibly special to me when a couple asks and always an honor to take part in.
Are elopement ceremonies legal? Where do we find the laws for the state we’re eloping in?
Elopement ceremonies are 100% legal and just as valid as a traditional wedding! Every state has different laws and requirements, and that information can typically be found by doing some searching online or by calling the city/town/county clerk’s office. Some common requirements to make an elopement ceremony legal are:
Marriage license application (with required identification)
Fee for the marriage license
Minimum age requirements (typically 18)
Officiant
Witnesses
Marriage license submission (with all required signatures and information) within a certain timeframe after your elopement
(Any relevant paperwork to obtain the marriage license if this is not your first marriage)
As I mentioned above, witnesses may or may not be required depending on where you’re eloping, and the number of witnesses the state requires will vary. I’m always more than happy to sign as one of your witnesses!
A couple quick marriage license tips:
Make sure you obtain your marriage license early enough to account for the waiting period if your state has one, but not too early that it expires before your elopement date (for example: there is no waiting period for a New Hampshire marriage license and it is valid for 90 days). Give yourself a little extra time in case you have to reschedule your elopement a day or two due to weather or transportation issues.
Make sure your marriage license is submitted back to the state on time following your elopement.
How long does an elopement ceremony take?
As much or as little time as you want! Your elopement ceremony can be simple or elaborate, traditional or unconventional, quick or not so quick. All that matters is that the two of you create space to say what you want to say to each other, and that it aligns with who you are and what you want to get out of your day.
Learn more about how much time you’ll need for your elopement and see some timeline examples here!
Do we have to have a bridal party for our elopement?
Not unless you want to! I’ve seen couples have no guests, a small number of guests, a defined bridal party standing with them and guests standing/sitting separately, or just a group of their favorite humans to witness in their joy. There’s no right or wrong way to elope!
Read more about how to include your family in your elopement.
What should we do after our elopement ceremony?
Celebrate! You can pop champagne or sparkling cider, have a first dance, video chat your loved ones to show off your new rings, read congratulatory letters from family and friends, go to a separate location for a reception meal and dancing with your favorite humans—and absolutely anything else you want to do to embrace the joy of your next chapter together.
Elopement Ceremony Script Examples
Whether you have an officiant present to marry the two of you or not, these simple example elopement scripts can help get you brainstorming about what your own elopement ceremony can look like! Feel free to use these word for word, or tweak them to match your own elopement ceremony vision.
For an Officiant:
“Today, we’ve come together to celebrate the love and relationship of name and name. The two of you have chosen to enter into this commitment to one another for life. Throughout your relationship you’ve experienced ups and downs, good days and bad, and seen the best and the worst in one another. Through all this, you’ve chosen to promise your lives to each other no matter what the future may hold. There will be challenges to overcome, and days of pure joy to soak in and remember when times get difficult. If the two of you promise your hearts, your actions, and your lives to each other, there is nothing you cannot get through.
Do you, name, take name to be your husband/wife, to have for life, remaining faithful and committed no matter the circumstances, and to honor selflessly as long as you both live? (Answers and repeats)
(Ring exchange, religious or cultural practices)
By the authority vested in me by state, I pronounce you husband/wife. You may now share in your first married kiss.”
For a Couple:
“Name, I promise to love you and cherish you all the days of my life. I choose to embrace you as you are, flaws and strengths, and commit to uplifting and encouraging you every day. I vow to protect your heart, share in your burdens, and devote myself to supporting you. I will do everything I can to make you smile and laugh, and put my own needs aside to ensure yours are met. I promise to never stop challenging you to be the best version of yourself, while actively working to be my best for you. I will always strive to seek out adventure with you and see the good in small moments, never settling or compromising on the life we want. Together we can achieve anything, and I promise to always work hard to make sure we leave behind a legacy of intention and love. Our marriage will be everlasting, our love never ending, and our closeness always growing. This is my vow to you.”
Hey friend! I’m Andrea, a New Hampshire Elopement Photographer, and I’m so glad you’re here. I love helping couples plan elopements in the beautiful region of New England, and this blog is just one of the many ways I enjoy providing information that will help my couples enjoy a beautiful, fulfilling elopement experience.
Ready to begin planning your own elopement? Reach out and let’s get started!
