How to Write Your Elopement Vows: Step by Step Guide
Eloping is all about making your wedding day unique, intentional, and personal. You don’t have to follow a traditional wedding ceremony script, so what you say to your partner on your elopement day will be completely authentic to the two of you!
Writing your vows may feel intimidating at first, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I’ve outlined 5 simple steps to help you write your vows in a way that feels true to you.
1. Look back on where you’ve been
Think back over your relationship—the highs, the lows, the moment where you knew this was your person for life. Tell them what you love about them, how they make you feel about yourself, and how your relationship with them has made your life better.
2. Talk about your future together
Speak about your dreams, your hopes, your commitment to one another through all of it.
What do you want your life to look like 10 or even 50 years from now? What about your relationship do you want to see continuing after decades have passed by? What experiences have brought you joy that you’d like to pledge to continue together?
3. Speak to them about what they mean to you
Open up, dig deep, and let them know just how much you love them. This part should be easy; all you have to do is think about why you want to get married and let the words flow.
The great thing about eloping is that it allows you to have a completely private ceremony for just the two of you, a small group of people you love, or just a couple of people who mean the world to you. You get to structure your ceremony in a way that makes you feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable and open with each other.
Check out my blog about How to Include Your Family in Your Elopement.
4. Make meaningful promises
The definition of vow is a solemn promise. It’s also described as being dedicated to someone or something. Your marriage to each other is a lifelong commitment to do life with the person who means everything to you, and your vows are just the beginning of that commitment.
Think about the good things your partner brings out in you and the potential you see in them. What do they balance in you? What growth do you want to see in yourself throughout your life together? How will you strive to be selfless and make their dreams a reality?
5. Don’t overcomplicate it
The last thing to remember is: don’t worry about saying everything. Remember, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you to share the deepest feelings within your heart.
Keep it simple, speak from the heart, and remember to express just how much you love them.
Tips for Writing Your Vows
Create an intentional space to write
Whether it’s on the day of your elopement or sometime before, having a quiet, distraction-free place to write will help you write vows that honestly reflect the way you feel. I personally love integrating vow writing into a couple’s getting ready time as a way to document the whole story of their elopement, as well as capture those moments of anticipation to be remembered forever.
You don’t have to actually write your vows from scratch on your elopement day if you’d prefer to have time to think them through beforehand—one of my favorite moments of a couple’s day is them copying down their words into their elopement vow books. You can do this from your phone or the piece of paper with your original vows on it, and you can decide whether you’d like to write down your vows separately or together.
Speak from the heart
While the tips above can certainly help you know where to begin, the best way for you to write vows that will touch the heart of your partner is to simply write what you feel. You know your heart for your person the best, and no one can articulate how you feel better than you can.
Tips for Speaking Your Vows
Be fully present in the moment
Before every ceremony, I take a few moments to remind my couples to take in every moment, don’t rush through it, and savor that first kiss. I’ll have you start with a few deep breaths, look in each other’s eyes, take in the sounds around you to remember where you are, and once you’re ready, we’ll begin your ceremony. You only get to do this once, so don’t forget to allow yourself to feel the excitement of what’s happening.
Hold nothing back—it is your wedding day, after all!
In this crazy world, you two found each other, and that’s something to celebrate. No matter what you say, all you have to do is focus on being together. There’s no need to be perfect or perform. All that matters is that the two of you are here, now, and you’re promising the rest of your lives to each other.
Where to Purchase Custom Vow Books
When you hire me to photograph your elopement, you also get planning help! One of the many things I do for my eloping couples is offer recommendations for vendors that can partner with them in creating their dream day. While vow books are just one small part of your elopement experience, I love helping my couples intentionally choose even the smallest details to make their day all the more personal.
Here are a few recommendations for places you can purchase beautiful vow books:
