How to Include Your Family in Your Elopement
While many couples decide to elope with no guests present, it may be important to you to invite your closest people to celebrate with you. However you want to structure your elopement day, there are plenty of ways for you to balance the time you spend with just each other and time with loved ones, as well as make those experiences incredibly special.
There’s lots of ways you can make your day personal and unique with your people, so let’s talk about a few ways you can include your family in your elopement!
Quick note: “Family” doesn’t just mean people you share blood with. The people who stand beside you through thick and thin can absolutely be defined as your family. So as you see that word throughout this blog, remember that under no circumstances are you obligated to share your day with anyone who doesn’t support you in your decision to elope. No matter what, your day is about the two of you, and only kindness is allowed.
Elopement Ideas With Family
1. Invite them to your ceremony or celebrate together later
The first thing to decide when considering involving your family in your elopement is knowing how personal you want your overall experience to be. If it’s important to you that your ceremony is completely private and personal, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not having any guests present. But if you still want to have your family be involved in your day, one option is to have a celebratory “reception” after your ceremony!
This “reception” can be an opportunity for your family to share toasts or words of encouragement, enjoy a meal together (I have lots of recommendations for excellent private chefs as an FYI!), cut cake or share a dessert, and even dance and party a bit if that’s your thing!
Whether you do this at a separate location or not is up to you, but just remember that there are specific locations in which this would be allowed outdoors. While you won’t be able to set up elaborate tablescapes and decor, national parks have picnic areas that you can utilize to eat together. Just remember that no location in any national parks can be exclusively reserved, so you want to make sure you leave room for other visitors to use the area. Amplified music and decor is also not permitted, so enjoy the good company and good food!
If you love the idea of a ceremony in a beautiful location outdoors but you want to have more freedom for your reception, I suggest finding a local venue that can accommodate a small group of people. That way, you can still decorate to your heart’s content without breaking any Leave No Trace principles or park regulations.
One of my wonderful couples wanted to go on a hike at sunrise so they could read their vows to each other privately in the woods, and it was such a sweet and special way to spend their wedding morning together. After we hiked about 4 miles together, they met up with their families for portraits and their first look in their second wedding outfits. Then, they headed over to a nearby venue for their formal ceremony and brunch with their family and friends.
You can also keep your entire elopement experience reserved for just the two of you and have a reception with your family at a later date. This way, your whole elopement can be your own, and you can have as many people as you want present at your reception later!
Lots of couples did something similar to this after 2020, and it’s still a great option if you just can’t choose between an intimate elopement experience together and a celebration with the people you love.
2. Have multiple ceremonies
If you want to be able to speak openly to each other but don’t feel completely comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings in front of your family, that’s okay! I wrote my husband a letter to read before our wedding ceremony because I didn’t want to get too personal in front of our guests, and the photos of him crying reading that letter are some of my favorites.
Here are a few ways you can keep your private vows reserved just for each other:
Write letters to one another to read separately or together before your family ceremony
Have a personal ceremony just the two of you, then a second, more “formal” ceremony with your family (you can do them in either order; it’s totally up to you!)
Share your private vows with your family standing at a distance, then invite them to come closer after the personal words are finished
Either one of these ceremonies can be the one where you legally get married, or neither of them have to be! You can handle the legal stuff before or after and your day will still be incredibly meaningful!
Or, if there’s a loved one that you want to officiate for you such as a parent, grandparent, sibling, or friend, you can still do so without them having to be ordained. Your officiated ceremony can be the legal one or you can handle the legal stuff at another time so your unordained loved one can still officiate. As you can see, there’s several ways to have a ceremony (or two), and you can do whichever one feels right for you!
As an added note, I understand how important it is for you to have a completely secluded, private experience if that’s what you desire. I always like to let couples know I have the ability to stay far back with a zoom lens if you want it to feel like I’m not there, and you’ll still get beautiful photos to remember your intimate ceremony experience.
3. Have your family write letters or record videos to watch after your ceremony
If you want your day to be completely reserved for an adventure with only each other, your family can still send well wishes through letters or videos! After your ceremony, the two of you can sit down for a celebratory dessert or glass of champagne/sparkling cider, while reading all the letters your family wrote to you.
If they’d rather record videos of themselves instead, they can send them to you prior to your elopement day and you can save them to your phone to watch right there. Just be sure that if you do have them send videos, download them to your phone’s photo gallery before your elopement day so you’re not left at the mercy of that location’s cell service. If you do happen to have reception, you can video chat them right there! (Just make sure your battery is charged and that you have a backup power bank just in case).
4. Have a two-day elopement
If your family is just as adventurous as you are, get them involved in a two-day elopement! The first day can be reserved for the two of you to have a private ceremony and fill the day with all the activities you want, and on day two your family can join in on the fun! A group of you can go hiking, go on a guided tour, enjoy a couple of meals together, sightsee, and lots more.
If multiple days sounds overwhelming, don’t worry—it doesn’t have to be! I suggest that if you want to have this kind of experience, reserve just a few hours of your photography coverage for yourselves on day one and use the rest of your time the next day (I include custom timeline building in all of my packages so I’ll help you with this!)
Whoever you decide to celebrate with, make sure it’s the people who believe in you and stand beside you through thick and thin. Eloping is an incredibly personal and exciting thing, and the two of you should celebrate your relationship in whatever way you want to with people who will support that decision.
Ready to start planning your elopement or intimate wedding with your loved ones? Reach out and let’s get started!
