How to Brainstorm Your “Elopement Vision”
One of my go-to ways to describe a couple’s overall dream for their elopement is to call it their “elopement vision.” Simply put, your elopement vision is all the pieces of your day that sum up how you want your elopement to look and feel, and the overall vibe you want it to express. It’s the people, locations, and activities you imagine being a part of your experience—all the things that would make your day feel most like you.
Planning an elopement or intimate wedding is new for most people, and it can be overwhelming trying to nail down exactly what you want it all to look like. Where do we elope? Who do we invite? What do we wear? What season should we elope in? These are all questions that you’ll want to start thinking through as you start to form ideas and brainstorm about how amazing your day can be.
Having planned a wedding myself and having helped many couples plan theirs too, I know that the hardest part is getting started. So I’ve written a guide with four clear and easy steps to help you get the ball rolling!
Step 1. Figure out the basics: where, when, and who
When you can start to form a mental picture of where you want to elope, when you’d like to elope, and who you’d like to invite to celebrate with you (if anyone), the rest of the planning process becomes a lot easier.
I think the easiest place to begin is deciding where you want to elope. I’ve written an entire post on How to Decide Where to Elope which you can read here, but here are some questions to get you thinking:
Do we want to elope somewhere we’ve already been together or someplace new?
Do we want to elope in a location that’s completely outdoors or have the option to spend some time inside?
How do we get where we want to go logistically? Would we prefer to drive, fly, or go someplace remote that requires special transportation? (Think flying in a helicopter to a glacier or taking a ferry ride to an island)
Can we get to our elopement location easily at any time throughout the year or will weather play a part in our plans? Is there a specific season or climate we really don’t want to elope in?
Is it logistically feasible for us to invite people to this location? (i.e. can an older family member make the trip?)
See how easy that is? As you start to ask yourself questions like these, the brainstorming really kicks in and helps you figure out a framework for your day.
Step 2. Start painting mental pictures
Taking your answers from step one will make coming up with a mental picture much easier. Decided on a spring elopement someplace warm? Short sleeve dress it is! Going for a hike to get to your ceremony spot? Time to break in a couple pairs of matching hiking boots.
When helping my couples think through what they’d like their elopement to look like, I ask them to imagine the perfect date day. There’s no better way to plan the day you get married than to simply think of it like the most fun adventure you could possibly have together. What are some activities the two of you enjoy doing together already? Do you enjoy trying local coffee? Taking walks or going on hikes? Do you enjoy gathering around the dinner table with friends and family to chat about life and good memories? Is there a favorite local spot you two always go when you’re on vacation? Is there an activity you’ve always wanted to try together but haven’t yet?
Step 3. Gather inspiration
Google, Pinterest, Instagram, movies, and even magazines have all kinds of visual inspiration to get you thinking. This can help you start imagining what kind of dress you want to wear, what color suit you’re thinking, what kind of flowers you’d like in your bouquet, how you’d like to style your hair, and so many other details that will make your day yours.
This is also a really great step in helping you figure out what you don’t want. Making your elopement day an outward expression of the two of you as a couple and individuals is all about knowing what makes you you. If you’re really not a fan of something even if it’s trendy, don’t use it. If there’s something that’s considered “outdated” but you’d really like to incorporate it, do it anyway! Eloping isn’t about impressing anyone—it’s about reflecting the most true version of yourselves, and the only opinion that matters is yours.
If you like organizing details, making a mood board can be a really great thing to do at this point in the process! It doesn’t have to be fancy—you can even cut out pieces of a magazine and place them on a poster board, or create a virtual mood board with apps like Canva, SCRL, or Photoshop if you’re tech savvy. The point is to get the various elements that you’re seeing into a cohesive group so you can see how everything complements each other.
Step 4. Do some research & planning
Now that you’ve started to get a clearer picture of what you want your day to look like, you can start hashing out some surface-level details to solidify a few things. This doesn’t have to be the part where you start booking accommodations or hopping on the phone with vendors (unless you’re ready for that). Sometimes it’s helpful to put your ideas into a logistical context to make sure you can actually do things in the way you’re envisioning.
If you’re imagining a summer elopement in a mountainous national park and you’d like to spend some time canoeing on an alpine lake, you’re going to want to research that national park and make sure you’ll be allowed. For example, you may need a permit and you may have to rent a watercraft locally instead of bringing your own. Fortunately that information is really easy to find online, and you can always reach out to the national park to ask someone specifically over the phone or by email.
Or, maybe you’ve found the most gorgeous rental and you’re wanting to have a gathering of 5 friends there for a “reception” dinner after your sunset ceremony at a nearby waterfall. You’ll want to take a look at the listing description to make sure your host will be okay with that, as many do not allow parties or gatherings or have specific stipulations as to what they’ll allow.
How to ask a VRBO or Airbnb host if you can have a wedding on their property
I always recommend reaching out to the host directly to make sure they know exactly what you’re planning and have given you the all clear before you book. Have a few backup options available just in case they say no. With my eloping couples, I always touch base with the rental host after my couple has made their reservation to introduce myself and make sure we’re all good to go.
On VRBO, you can filter out properties that don’t allow parties or events to make searching a bit easier. On Airbnb, you can usually find whether parties or events are allowed in the house rules, which is found all the way at the bottom of the Airbnb listing under the map and host details.
Here’s how I recommend asking your VRBO or Airbnb host if you can have your ceremony and/or reception at their property:
“Hello (name of host)! My name is (name), and my partner (name) and I are getting married on (date including year) and are hoping to book your rental. We are planning to have an intimate ceremony with 5 of our friends at (name of local scenic location) at sunset, and we thought your rental would be the perfect setting for us all to have a small dinner celebration afterward for about two hours.
We’d like to set up a few candles in sand-filled glass vases on the long table out on the deck for a candlelit dinner as we think that would look so beautiful with the string lights you already have set up, and we’d like to invite a professional private chef to use the kitchen to cook a simple one-course meal for the two of us and our 5 adult guests. There would be no alcohol consumed nor present.
We would also have a professional photographer with us to take photos while we enjoy our meal and spend time with our friends. The two of us would be staying overnight at the accommodation as well and the rest of our guests would be leaving after about two hours of dinner and conversation. I wanted to reach out to verify that would all be okay with you before booking. Thanks so much for your time and I look forward to hearing from you!”
VRBO House Rules
AirBnb House Rules
Don’t overthink it—I’m here to help!
I offer planning assistance to all my couples, and it’s one of the things I enjoy doing most. If you’ve read this far and you’re feeling, “Gosh, there’s so many options and we still don’t know what we want our day to look like,” let’s hop on a free consultation call and talk it out! I’ve helped many couples like you plan elopement and intimate wedding experiences that they look back on with joy, and I’d love to do that for you too.
Hey friend! I’m Andrea, a New Hampshire Elopement Photographer, and I’m so glad you’re here. I love helping couples plan elopements in the beautiful region of New England, and this blog is just one of the many ways I enjoy providing information that will help my couples enjoy a beautiful, fulfilling elopement experience.
Ready to begin planning your own elopement? Reach out and let’s get started!
