Do We Really Need Getting Ready Photos for Our Elopement?
I used to photograph big weddings before transitioning to elopements, and I noticed a common theme of the getting ready portion of the day being one of my couples’ biggest sources of stress. It’s likely you’ve never been to an elopement before, so what you picture of what a wedding day looks like is probably more aligned with your experiences at traditional weddings. But elopements challenge the typical wedding framework, and that includes how a couple gets ready for their day.
So how are elopement getting ready photos different? Let’s talk about it!
How are getting ready photos at an elopement different from a traditional wedding?
Typically, traditional weddings take place at a wedding venue, where the bride and bridesmaids are given a bridal suite and the groom and groomsmen are given a closet. Okay, maybe it’s not always that dramatic, but I did see a recurring pattern of venues assigning more value to the bride than the groom, which is another reason I left the big wedding industry to focus on elopements so both partners could be given equal importance. Even at my own wedding, we had this little bungalow house and the guys literally got nothing. They had to get ready in the bathroom of the reception area. Pretty lame, right?
In addition to the getting ready spaces usually not being ideal, it’s typically noisy, crowded, bright, and at least in the bridal suite, there’s stuff everywhere. It makes sense; when you have ten people trying to do hair and makeup and get dressed there’s a lot of things you need to bring. So that usually ends up looking like tote bags on furniture and the floor, half-drank water bottles strewn about, a table too big for the room with tons of food and snacks that mostly don’t get eaten, mimosa glasses on the floor that inevitably get broken at some point, and there’s always at least one unclaimed bra.
With all that in mind, the idea of having photos taken while you’re getting ready may elicit feelings of stress, insecurity, and thinking it’s going to be this big mess of chaos and rushing around. And if it’s just the two of you, it might be the opposite concern—you might feel like it’s going to be one long awkward moment of a camera in your face while you get dressed. (Spoiler alert: it doesn’t have to be like that at all!)
I’d like to paint a picture for you of what elopement getting ready photos can actually look (and feel) like. When you take control of your experience and choose to get married your own way, you’re changing the entire narrative of what’s considered normal. Your elopement does not need to be stressful—the getting ready portion of your day can be calm, and evoke a sense of quiet anticipation for the rest of your elopement.
1. You set the tone of your getting ready process
Take a moment to imagine this with me: the two of you have just woken up after a blissful night of sleep in your rental cabin in the mountains. You wake up to the sight of golden morning sunlight peaking in through your bedroom window and the sound of birds chirping gleefully outside. You get up together, eyes still sleepy but stomach fluttering with joyful anticipation of the day ahead, and walk into the kitchen. One of you starts the coffee while the other begins chopping veggies for some breakfast omelets, and you hear a knock at the door.
I, your photographer, arrive right on time with a massive smile on my face, saying it’s so nice to finally meet you and ask you both if you’re huggers. We all happily embrace, you invite me in, and I chat with you for a few minutes about your travel, how you slept, and if you’re feeling excited. You say of course, and I share in your joy as I begin explaining what the two of you can expect for getting ready photos. I tell you I plan to start with photographing your details while the two of you warm up to having me and my cameras around, so you go and fetch the box of items you’ve intentionally selected for your day and prepared for me to photograph. I quietly capture your details and your elopement attire while the two of you pour coffee and go to sit on the porch to chat with each other, accompanied by some of your favorite music on a bluetooth speaker to begin setting the tone for your day.
I come out to take a few “fly on the wall” photos of the two of you enjoying your coffee, and after a few minutes of enjoying the morning air, you go back into the kitchen to prepare your breakfast. I document the entire process, telling the story of what your morning truly looked like on the day you got married. You enjoy your breakfast and video chat your best friends who wish you well on your day as I silently capture these moments. As you finish up your breakfast the two of you begin doing your hair and makeup, helping each other with finishing touches. All of this is being captured with intention and care, and now it’s time to get dressed. I step out to give you both privacy to get undressed and into your elopement attire to your comfort level, and you invite me back in when you’re ready to photograph the finishing touches of getting yourselves all ready.
I photograph the two of you helping each other with zippers, buttons, and accessories, and we all walk out to the cabin’s deck as it’s bathed in warm morning sunlight to write down your vows into your custom vow books. Music continues on the speaker, and you take a few moments to copy down your vows by hand that you’ve already written prior to today, knowing you’ll be speaking these words aloud in just a couple of hours at your ceremony. You finish up, and we get prepared to head out for the rest of your day.
Whether your elopement getting ready process looks just like this or a completely different variation, you can make it whatever you want it to be. If you want a peaceful, slow-paced getting ready morning like what I’ve described here, we can do just that! Or, if you want your morning to be buzzing with excitement, fun music, and your favorite people around you helping you both get ready, what matters is it’s aligned with what you want.
2. You can get ready how you want to—together or separately
When you elope, everything gets to be exactly the way you want it to be. No expectations, obligations, or traditions you’re pressured to uphold. The two of you can spend the entirety of your elopement day together instead of having to be apart for a single minute.
Or, if you’d like, you can get ready separately and do a first look! The great part about doing things this way is that you can still get ready together, but just get dressed separately. You’ll only be apart for a few minutes, and you still get to incorporate that element of surprise seeing each other’s elopement attire for the first time. Even if you didn’t keep your outfits a secret and you’ve already seen them, seeing your person all dressed up and ready to marry you is an incredibly special moment.
3. You get to decide who’s there with you
In most cases, my couples get ready with nobody else there—it’s just the two of them. But for those special human beings that you can’t imagine not being a part of helping you get ready, bring them along! Your day is yours to structure how you want, and you get to invite or not invite whoever you want.
Won’t it be uncomfortable to have photos taken while getting dressed?
This is a completely valid concern—right now I’m probably still a stranger to you, or at the very least we may have your elopement booked but we haven’t met in person yet. You may be imagining having your picture taken before you’ve had a chance to make yourself look the way you want to look on your elopement day, the day you’re supposed to feel the most beautiful/handsome/happy you’ve felt in your whole life, and that probably feels scary. Or you might just be feeling uncomfortable with having photos taken while you get dressed.
You get to decide to what degree your dressing photos are taken, and while “getting ready photos” encompasses the entirety of your getting ready process—not just getting dressed—you’re in charge of what that all looks like. Making sure the two of you feel comfortable, safe, and heard at all times is always at the forefront of my mind when I’m shooting an elopement. I’ll be checking in with you regularly throughout your entire day to make sure you’re both feeling good, and I’ll always ask permission before any form of physical touch, whether it’s moving a strand of hair out of your face or fixing the collar on your suit jacket.
I’m here to support the two of you wholly and make sure you feel free to be 100% yourselves. I know starting off your day with getting ready photos may feel intimidating and, for some, it might feel invasive.
So here’s the thing: as I’ve said multiple times already, you are in control of every element on your day. Documenting your getting ready process is about telling the story of your elopement day from start to finish, and part of that story is how the two of you spent your time together before you were dressed up and ready to go, as well as the process of putting on your elopement attire. However you want that to look is how I’ll capture it—no questions asked.
What kinds of things can we expect to have photographed while we get ready?
To bring this all into some context for you, here are some things my couples have had photographed during their getting ready photos:
1. Your details and elopement attire
You’ve taken time to intentionally choose all the little details and items that will help make your day special! Having those pieces photographed first thing not only allows the two of you to get used to having me around with my cameras without having your photos taken just yet, but it also sets a tone of expectancy in the first photos you’ll see when looking back on your day.
2. Drinking coffee or making breakfast together
While it may seem like these activities aren’t exciting or special enough to be included in your elopement, they’re all part of the story that is your day. Your elopement deserves to be remembered completely, including the special moments you spend together like it were any other ordinary day.
3. Preparing elopement attire
An important component of a good elopement story is the way the in-between moments are captured. Making time to savor the process of you getting ready instead of only taking photos of the finishing touches takes you right back to that moment in time, remembering exactly how you felt in that moment.
4. Writing vows
You can write your vows from scratch on the day of your elopement or copy them down into your vow books having written them ahead of time. Either way, writing down your vows captures a sense of sweet excitement that translates beautifully through your photos.
Check out my step by step guide on how to write your elopement vows.
5. Doing makeup and hair
You may choose to do your own hair and makeup, have a loved one help you, or hire someone to do it for you. No matter which route you go, what’s important is that you feel your best!
Check out a few tips on how to make your makeup last all day.
6. Getting dressed
Some couples like the artful storytelling of this and don’t mind showing more skin, but I want you to remember I will always respect your comfort level and I’ll never ask you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. (I’d also like to point out here that individual images in your final gallery can be hidden from shared view, so whoever you share your gallery with won’t see them if you choose to go that route.)
7. Helping each other get dressed or add finishing touches
Helping each other get ready is a sweet and intimate way to show your love for each other as you prepare for the day together. You can help each other get dressed, do each other’s hair, help with makeup, and assist with your partner’s finishing touches.
8. First look
While many of my couples choose to help each other get ready, some still want a first look! There are a lot of ways a first look can be done for an elopement, and I’ve written a bit about why you should consider doing one here.
How much time do getting ready photos usually take?
I have noticed in my time as an elopement photographer that when a couple is considering how many hours of photography coverage they want, getting ready photos are usually first on the chopping block if they’re considering a slightly shorter package. It’s completely understandable as the ceremony, portraits, and activities are where the excitement and epic photos come from, and you might feel like you just don’t need photos of you getting ready. But if your getting ready photos are rushed or not captured at all, that element of preparation for the day ahead and the excitement you feel will be missed. In my opinion, those memories are too important not to include.
Getting ready photos usually take anywhere from 1-2 hours. It may sound like a lot of time when it’s just the two of you, but remember that as we’ve talked about so far, the getting ready process covers more than just hair and makeup and putting on your elopement attire. It’s about showing what happened before all the most exciting parts of your elopement day had a chance to unfold, and those moments deserve to be savored and not rushed.
How do we decide whether to include getting ready photos in our elopement?
I like to describe a couple’s elopement day as a story. The greatest stories have a clear beginning, middle, and end, and your getting ready photos are part of the beginning. It’s the anticipatory setup that captures all the excitement, the nerves, the emotions that speak to how you’re feeling before the rest of your day unfolds. If we jump right into the middle of the story, while it will still be beautiful and meaningful, the earlier piece of that story is missing. You’ll experience your elopement morning and your getting ready process regardless of whether it’s photographed or not, so inviting that piece of your day to be captured creates a fuller, more comprehensive retelling of your entire elopement experience that you can relive whenever you want.
As the years go by in your marriage and those little details of your elopement begin to fade from memory, you’ll always have those photos to look back on and remember how your elopement day began, and I think that’s all the reason you need to document your getting ready process.
Hey friend! I’m Andrea, a New Hampshire Elopement Photographer, and I’m so glad you’re here. I love helping couples plan elopements in the beautiful region of New England, and this blog is just one of the many ways I enjoy providing information that will help my couples enjoy a beautiful, fulfilling elopement experience.
Ready to begin planning your own elopement? Reach out and let’s get started!
